Release Me

I sit here, late at night, not running.  Again. I am looking through some of my running stats from one year ago.  Wow, have times changed.  I don't even know who that person was one year ago. 

I miss her. 

I wish I appreciated more what I was doing then.  I had yet to start my Chicago Marathon training.  So, I still was running free.  I didn't even know it  then. No training schedule.  No injuries.  Just running.  When I wanted.  For how far I wanted.  Getting out there and releasing everything. 

It was fun.  It was fast.  It was freeing. 

It was me.

I had no idea I was running so fast.  Okay, I know compared to many of you, this was slow.  But, wow, right now, the thought of doing these paces is really unfathomable to me.  I don't mean soon,  I mean ever. Ever again. 

If I  close my eyes hard enough, I actually can remember these runs.  Running through Wrigley Field, barely anything left in me.  Cold, pouring ran. Running through the huge puddles over the finish line.  To a race PR.  Standing there in amazement.  At what I just did. By myself.  Letting the rain pour down on me, instead of seeking shelter.  

I was happy. 

I remember.

These are my five fastest runs.  Kind of fun to see some of your comments.  Some of you I didn't really know all that well.  And, now know very well.  Thanks for being with me when times were good.  And, thanks for sticking with me when it's not so good. 

5. Hot Thunder

4. Double Dipping

3. Race to Wrigley 5k (PR)


2. A new shiny belt

1. High Noon

Maybe if I close my eyes hard enough.  And dream.  I can run fast and free again.

I'd like that.

I am myself
Like you somehow
I'll ride the wave
Where it takes me
I'll hold the pain
Release me