Run to Be Me: I Belong With You

Oh, ho, hey. Can we all just jump in a van? And hang out. You can drive next to me while I run. You can run with me. We will stop. We will giggle. We will drink beers. We move on. We will run again.

When we see an amazing swimming hole you'll let me get my swim on.

Is it too much to ask? For you all to just hang out with me. Like all the time.

Yes, I dropped off for a few weeks from running. Not completely. But, mostly. But, more importatnly, I dropped off from you.

I was trying. To get my run on. To quietly start my Chicago Marathon training. Even though I was clearly way behind everyone else. Not sure why I need to feel like I need to keep up with people who clearly are out of my running league. But, I want to at least stay in the same running planet as them.

I made the mistake of trying too hard when the heat was just unbearable. And, it was. It broke my spirit. You see, the heat is not my friend.

Hey, I love the sun. The warmth. The beach. The ocean. In fact I plan on running away with someone one day to live such the life. But, running in the heat is not for me. Seriously. I get exercise induced asthma that literally brings me to my knees if I try to run in oppressive heat and humidity. I don't know how you people run in that crap. 15, 20 mile runs? Huh? Amazing. I just physically cannot do it.

Weather is rarely a good enough excuse for me not to run. Hey, I'm the girl that ran 4 miles, in a truck tire track, in 22 inches of snow, in shorts, after 2011 Chicago Blizzardpalooza. I've been on two runs when tornado sirens have gone off. I've run in below zero temperatures, with a smile on my face. In shorts. I run in downpours. Cold downpours. In shorts. So, I'm not one to use weather as an excuse too often. But, heat? It wins. Hands down. Winning.

But, I tried. I had a some people on me. And, by ON me I mean they kind of harassed me in the kindest of ways (and maybe a bit not so kind) to make sure I was not quitting. Some were close running friends. Some were people I don't interact with that often. But, each and every one of them impacted me. Mattered to me. I cannot tell you how nice it was to have people care about me. To give me a hand if I needed it. To kick my ass if I needed it.

Others sent me messages. Again, some from people I care about deeply and consider close friends. Others were from people I barely know. Who, just peeked it to tell me they missed me. Or to tell me that they were thinking about me. To tell me they hoped I was ok. To offer to meet me and go running. Whoa. Seriously? Whoa.

Sometimes I feel as though I can just quietly walk away and life will go on just fine without me. And, it does. But, then.... quietly, one by one, people poke me. Wake me from my slumber. Pull me up. Kick my ass. Give me a hug. And, some, just make me giggle. And, on some days, that's more than enough.

So, I was away for a bit. I swam as much as I could. Some of you have told me to just forget this stupid marathon crap and just be a kick ass swimmer. But, swimming is easy for me. Yes, I could get faster (I'm still gunning for Nathan ). But, running is way more of a challenge for me. WAY more. Swimming isn't scary for me. Running is terrifying for me. I love to face my fears. And win. Besides, swimming may make me happy. But, running makes me healthy.

I did run a little. Well, until my butt broke again. I blame Bart Yasso. And, by blaming Bart Yasso I don't mean I was doing Yasso 800's and got hurt. I mean I was running with Bart Yasso when I got hurt.

So, then I did not not run for a bit. To try to heal. But, then the weather broke last weekend. Dropped 25 degrees from the heat index we had for the past few days. I no longer could use heat as an excuse. And, my friend Suzi was heading out for a 15k race the next day. I was trying to convince her she could do this. Untrained. Because she could push herself further than she thought. However, how could I tell her this while I wasn't living my own words. So.... I headed out for a run. To run as far as my body and mind would allow. I made seven miles , my longest run since I broke 11 months ago.

It wasn't so bad. It wasn't easy either. But, I put zero pressure on how fast or how far I would go. My mind and body just went. I had asked for some friends to pray for me as I headed out. Midway in my run I ran across some road chalk, from a local teen running club I see running on this path on my way to work in the mornings. "Living on a prayer". Ahhh, just what I needed. Thanks guys!

Two nights ago I was on another run. This one was five miles. But, it was harder, mentally, and physically. But, I got it done. Somehow. Again, I saw road chalk again. This time it was, "We've got each other and that's a lot"