Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Fall seven times, stand up eight.



One year ago, on a Saturday night I made a decision.  To watch the  2010 Chicago Marathon in person the next morning. In all these years I had never seen it live.  Since I was running half marathons at this point I wanted to see what this marathon thing was all about.  I had made no plans for race day.  So, late Saturday I called my friend, Greg.  Greg is not a a runner.  He is not an athlete. He, is however, a good friend. Up until recently, he was the ONLY person to have come to watch me race.  Ever. For that, I'm forever grateful to him. I never had family or friends waiting for me at races. But, Greg waited for me.  Was happy for me.  Was there to congratulate me. Hug me.  Last year at my half marathon I told him to go home, go back to bed, after the start.  Imagine my surprise when hitting the turn at mile 6, there was Greg screaming my name. I can't tell you how good that made me feel.  To have MY name called.  For ME.  It carried me to the finish. No doubt

So, I called Greg.  Asked if he wanted to meet me at 6:30 the next morning for the race.  He said sure.  He knew I wanted to go.  He knew it was important to me.  He knew he had to go.  

It was a gorgeous, sunny, warm day.  A spectacular fall day.  However, a bit warm for marathon running.  Greg and I positioned ourselves within the Loop.  We zig zagged through the streets to catch about 3 sections of the race.  I've been in some large Chicago Races (Chicago Rock n Roll Half Marathon , Shamrock ShuffleHot Chocolate 15k/5k ) with between 30,000 and 40,000 runners.  But, I had never watched a race with this many runners.  As the runners headed down State Street I was in awe at the number of runners.  All the way up and down the street. Packed solid the entire width of the street.  Running. 

I couldn't do anything but stare at first. I couldn't even cheer.  I was amazed.  Humbled. Proud.  I realized that I saw a little bit of myself in their faces.  The old, the young, the fast, the slow, the fit, the fat. They were all me. Running.  A friggin' marathon.  I turned to look at Greg.  Tears streaming down my face.  He looked at me, smiled, and said, "You are going to run this thing next year aren't you?"  I shook my head and said, "No way."  Then I laughed.  Looked at him again, smiled,  and said, "I think I am"

We screamed our lungs out for these strangers.  People we didn't know.  But, faces I recognized.  A neighbor.  The woman working at Target.  The non-athlete all his life now finding his mojo.  A friend's college aged daughter.  That guy in the bar.  The father of 5.  The breast cancer survivor. The veteran. The recovering alcoholic. The woman who left her husband but found her life.  That guy who was tired of living a 300 pound non existence and now was flying past me at 180 pounds. I didn't know anybody running by me.  But, they were SOMEBODY.  They had a story.  I didn't know it.  But, I DID know that part of their story was that they were running the god damn Chicago Marathon!

Greg and I hit Mile 14. Runners were looking hot.  It was indeed hot out by then.  I was feeling for them.  But, on they ran.  They made me proud.  We then hit mile 25.  The look on the runners faces was incredible.  They knew they were SO close.  They could feel it.  They could taste it. It was theirs.  We finally ended up in the stands at the finish. I could barely keep my stomach under control.  Watching all these people come in to the final feet towards the finish line was so touching.  I wasn't running it.  I didn't know anybody.  But, I still felt an overwhelming sense of pride for these people. 

We cheered them all in.  High fived them.  Yelled out the name on their singlet.  Told them they were awesome. Then, all of a sudden, there coming right at me, is someone I knew.  Running.  Toward the finish line!  Andi, a friend from St. Maarten, with the flag of his country St. Maarten (which became an official country on this marathon day!) on the front of his tee shirt.  I had NO idea he was running the marathon.  Of the thousands and thousands of runners this day.  I saw Andi cross the finish! It was great!

We continued to watch runners finish. Some came in strong.  Most were smiling. However, some came is struggling to make it those final feet.  One man, in his 60's, was more than struggling.  He was losing it.  His legs.  His body.  He collapsed right in front of us.  The crowd gasped.  Greg and I started to cry.  This guy was SO close to the finish.  Mere feet. A race official came up, helped him up without assisting him.  The man started to run. We all cheered.  Loud.  He went a few more feet and collapsed again.  Runner after runner ran past him.  They were finishing their race.  They were completing their dream.  As they ran by him.  One woman in her 30's ran past him.  Fifteen feet past him.  Then stopped.  Turned around.  Came back.  Picked this man off the ground.  Put his arms around her slight shoulders and then CARRIED him over the finish line.  This woman sacrificed her time to help him finish.  Truly inspiring.  


I was in awe of his courage to not give up.  I was in awe of her act of generosity.  SHE was the true winner of this marathon in my eyes.  I was crying. THIS is moment  when I was SURE I would sign up to run the 2011 Chicago Marathon. Because of this man. Because of this woman. 

Four months later I sat on the computer at midnight.  Refreshing my screen for one and a half hours to get my  registration for the 2011 Chicago Marathon complete.  Once it went through I was excited more than I can explain.  However, I was also scared more than I've ever been in my entire life.  

I had no idea how scary this journey would be.  It was only the beginning. 

Friday, September 30, 2011

Courage to Start

The Miracle isn't that I finished.  The miracle is that I had the 
courage to start. 

This is one of my favorite quotes.  It's been my Facebook favorite quote for years.  As I always say, "The hardest part of the run is walking out the door".   So, how do you start?  That's the tough part. 
Run.  How did I start The Run
I was NEVER a runner. I was a swimmer.  For almost all my life.  Wasn't all that great.  But, wasn't all that bad.   I just picked it back up this summer. After MANY years away.  It felt good to be back. I felt at home.  


But, a runner? Pfff. That's silly. Freshman year in college my friends and I would run (jog) here and there to try to keep off the Freshman 15. It worked (thank God). Until I turned 21 and life became, well, more beer friendly.  After college I would run a mile here or there and think I was "running". Riiiiiight. It wasn't until MANY years later (3 years ago) that a co-worker came into work wearing a medal. I asked her what it was. She said it was from a half marathon she ran the day before. Well, I wanted one. So, she said, "come run the Chicago Rock n Roll Half Marathon in 3 months" Hell, I can run two miles, how hard would 13.1 be?  So, I half-assed trained (not) with a goal of just finishing. Finish I did. Not pretty. But, I did it. I was proud of myself. I saw possibility.

So, I continued the run. Kind of. Kept it light. Nothing much. But, I ran. Until last year. When my kick ass rockin' 102.5 year old grandma got sick (she lived on her own but I took care of her needs). Really sick. She was dying. She was supposed to live forever. Anybody who knew me knew this. Believed this. She didn't see the Cubs win the World Series. She surely had a few more years in her. But, sadly she didn't. After being a vibrant living person, she spent 3 long months in and out of the hospital and nursing home. It was hard for me to fathom this was the end. I worked all day, spent my evenings with her. Then came home at 9, 10, 11 pm and ran. And ran. And ran. Ran from the stress. Ran to be alone, away from everybody depending on ME. Ran. I ran further. I ran faster. With everything going on, when I was on the run I felt great. The world felt great. Life was great. All that was not true. But, in those moments they were.
And, then she died. I crumbled. She was the person that loved me most in the world. And, then she was gone. Forever. The thought of life without her was overwhelming. I didn't think I could ever run again. But, I had 3 weeks until my 2nd Chicago RnR Half Marathon. I HAD to do it. With an angel on my back I ran. I crossed that finish 30 minutes faster than my first. My eyes filled with tears. Of joy. Because I KNEW grandma got me over that line.
So, I continued to run. I went even further. And faster. I found friends that encouraged me. Texted me before runs. Messaged me after with congrats. Made me music mixes to get me going. I felt encouraged. I felt strong. I felt loved again. Somehow along the way 65lbs fell off. I felt better about myself. Hated life less. Liked me more.
Then I found Daily Mile . And the people of Daily Mile. My life hasn't been the same since. :D
So, yeah...... that's my running story. To be con't..............