I, State Your Name... The Year in Review

January 1, 20111 I went for a run .  For the new year.  For my new year.  It was absolutely freezing.  As in bone-chilling cold.  But, I made a decision.  A decision that 2011 would not suck.  It would NOT suck like 2010 had.  A year when my grandma died.  The person who loved me most in this world.  What made my life.... stop.  Still. 

It stopped.  Sure.  But, it also gave me the ability to reflect on the fact that I would NOT let 2011 suck me in.  It would not win.  I would win.

So, mid morning, January 1, 2011.  I went for a run on my running trail.  And, I logged my very first workout on Daily Mile.  I was just recording it for me.  I had no friends there.  Had absolutely no intention of having friends there.  I just wanted a place to keep track of my runs.  To be accountable. To me.  

To not let 2011 beat me.  This year was going to be all about me.  Finally.  Not anybody else.  Just me.  I was going to be less selfless and more selfish.  I was going to say no more.  I was going to say yes to the adventurous spirit in me.  I was going to take risks.  I was going to step out of my box.  Skydive out of the box.  I was going to live.  My life. 

I had resolutions.  A little eclectic perhaps, but resolutions.  I was going to do my best to attack them too.  Because after all.... why be the person of old.  The person of 2011.  I was ready.  Ready for a new me.  A different me.  A better me.

Running was at the root of it all.  It would give me the mind, body, and spirit to be the me I wanted to be.  Needed to be.  Hoped to be.  

That New Year's day was so cold.  I remember one mile in I was convinced I might get frostbite.  The wind was just howling.  I literally could barely run as the headwinds were that strong.  But, I was NOT going to give up.  Give in.  On day one. No way.   By the end of the 5.5 mile run I was warm and shedding layers.  I finished my first run.  I felt awesome.  

I was going to do this. I was going to do 2012.  But, I was NOT going to do this alone.  You were coming with me.  I surely didn't know that when I started that cold January 1st run.  I had NO idea that I would have company.  So much company on the reinvention of me.

Blizzardpalooza

Somehow friends trickled in on Daily Mile.  One here.  One there.  People motivated me.  Made me laugh.  Suddenly I was texting people, talking to these people.  Becoming friends with these people.  How did this happen?    Who are YOU?  And why are YOU here? 

YOU met me for a little blizzard run along the Chicago lakefront.  YOU were nice.  YOU were fun.  YOU were inspiring.  YOU made me believe I could run a marathon.  YOU giggled at me when I ran four miles through truck tracks in the post twenty two inch snow Blizzardpalooza. 

I watched you run 100 miles.  Who are YOU?  And, why are you doing such crazy things?  I didn't know. I didn't know YOU.  But, I couldn't stop watching.  I was amazed.  

YOU stayed up with me until 2 am to register for the Chicago Marathon.  YOU started running with me on my runs.  YOU made me laugh. We talked about our fear of pooping during the marathon.  We talked about work.  We talked about our worries.  YOU talked with me about how we would do this race.  We ran. 

St. Maarten Greenhouse 10K

YOU made me run the  St. Maarten Greenhouse 10k.  After three weeks of sun and fun YOU told me it would be an easy 5K.  It turned out to be a brutal, hot 10K!  I hated YOU.  But, I also giggled at YOU when I received my age group medal.  First place baby!  

YOU ran The Chicago Shamrock Shuffle with me.  YOU hung out with me afterwards on a most glorious Chicago day and drank beers.  Lots and lots of beers.  YOU agreed we would continue to have college girls weekends revolve around a kewl race.  YOU texted me all day when I was with my girls.  YOU asked how the race was,  how the day was. 

Shamrock Shuffle

I watched YOU try for your first 100 mile race.  I stayed up all night worrying about you.  I talked with another YOU about how proud we were for what YOU did.  It may not have been 100, but it was a worthy accomplishment indeed.  I was proud of YOU. 

YOU started Chicago Marathon training with me.  YOU commiserated with me when I told you how I was dripping wet from a hot ass run.  YOU told me how it sucked too.  It was YOU I lifted my skirt up to show my disgusting raw meat thigh chaffing. It was YOU who screamed in horror.  


YOU ran again with me, or let ME run with YOU to Do Life along the Chicago lakefront again.  This time no blizzard.  Just sun, fun, and some really amazing people. 

It was you who came to Chicago to run the Chicago Rock n Roll Half Marathon with me.  It was YOU who held my hand as we crossed the finish.  It was YOU who was incredibly generous to me and my stranger friends, offering us an unbelievable weekend.  It was YOU who screamed out the window on the cab ride.  I watched YOU do a really incredible thing. I watched YOU impress me.   It was YOU who hung out on the balcony, looking at the gorgeous city skyline, talking about life, our lives.  It was YOU who cried with me, hugged me, laughed with me. It was YOU who made me grateful I had such dear old friends.  I was so grateful for finally meeting YOU in person.  It was YOU who stayed out way into the night with me, doing silly, stoopid things.  It was YOU who I didn't want to say goodbye to. 

YOU ran into me at the RnR medal engraving.  I could not stop talking to YOU.  We shared something.  We got each other.  YOU were me.  I was YOU.  YOU inspired me.  So much so I had to come cheer you on when you ran your half.  And reward you with a #DES gift. 

It was YOU I texted the night before I was to do my longest run ever, 15 miles.  It was YOU who texted me at 5:30 the next morning to tell me to get my run on.  YOU kept texting me all along the way to keep me going.  I texted YOU back when I struggled.  It was YOU I texted when I was done to celebrate my accomplishment.  It was YOU who made me feel proud. 

It was YOU who tweeted to me to stfu and get out there for my 18 mile run.  YOU who told me to stop chatting and start running.  It was because of YOU I tried.   I texted YOU three miles in crying because my body and mind were failing me.   YOU  told me to go home.  Try again.  YOU made me giggle for the next half hour until I felt better.  It was because of YOU I tried again. I ran another five miles.  It was YOU I tweeted a picture of my legs on a bench and said #epicfail  It was YOU who let me cry.  It was then YOU who told me to get up. Walk home.  Try again.

However, it was not to be.  I would not run again.  Really. 


YOU were injured too.  YOU and I spent time talking about our injuries.  About our sadness that we couldn't run. I watched you get YOUR run back on.  I watched you RUN.  Again.  I was happy for YOU. 

YOU  finally convinced me to go to the doctor.  It was YOU who talked to me during my appointment because I was nervous.  YOU were there for me when I had the bone scan.  The MRI.  It was YOU who told me to hang in there. YOU  told me to keep my chin up.


I still did cartwheels.  YOU did cartwheels. 

YOU sent me encouraging messages.  YOU told me that I would get better.  YOU made me feel better that I was NOT running.  YOU also told me to be strong.  

I saw YOU on Oprah.  I saw YOU on the cover of Runner's World.  YOU will be on a national commercial on New Year's Eve.  Seriously?  Who are YOU people?  And, how could you possibly me MY friends? 

YOU woke me up early in the mornings and chatted with me before work.  YOU made me giggle all day when I should have been working.  YOU stayed up late at night with me talking about life. YOU shared your struggles.  YOU listened to mine.  YOU told me your secrets.  I told YOU mine.  YOU encouraged me to blog.  YOU were my biggest cheerleader.

IRC - ti no trid emos bur

YOU sent me kewl stuff.  YOU played with me on Twitter.  YOU crept into my phone.  YOU made me #giggle when I didn't think the day would allow.  YOU made me feel good about myself when I didn't think I deserved it.  YOU made me feel worthy.  Of loving myself.  Of allowing others to love me.  YOU made me BELIEVE.  I am YOU and YOU are me. 


YOU got me out of my little box.  YOU made me see another side of me.  YOU scared the crap out of me sometimes.  But, YOU also made me laugh. 


YOU taught me to #DoEpicShit.  To rub some dirt on it. To Whooooo!!xBeatCancer 

YOU made me feel okay when I couldn't run The Chicago Marathon.  So, instead I watched YOU run.  I cheered YOU on.  I held my #DoEpicShit sign for YOU.  YOU screamed my name when you ran by.  YOU smiled at me.  YOU came back and gave me the most awesome schweddy hug.  I watched  YOU finish.  I cried tears for YOUR accomplishment.  I was proud of YOU. 

 
I watched YOU complete your first 100 mile race.  I stayed up all night cheering YOU from afar.   I updated WHOever I could so that they could come along for YOUR ride.  I paced the floor when things looked grim.  I jumped for joy when things looked promising.  I nearly lost my mind when YOU texted me after you finished.  I was so proud of YOU. So very proud of YOU.

YOU ran your first half marathon.  I was there at the start in spirit.  For YOU.  But, YOU wouldn't answer YOUR phone.  Because you are silly like that.  But, I was there for YOU.  I was proud of YOU.  I was running a little 5k that day too.  But, I was thinking about YOU.  Because, YOU, my dear, are amazing.  Inside and out.  

When life socked me in the gut out of the blue it was YOU who kept me calm when I vomited out of fear as I tried to ride my bike away.  From the pain.  YOU made sure I got home.  Not only in one piece. But, while holding my hand.  And, my heart. My soul.   

I read YOUR blog. YOUR words touched me. Hit me in the heart.  In the stomach. YOU made me think.  Cry. Be.  Better.  Stronger.  Wiser.  

Without running it was YOU who kept me sane.  It was YOU who talked to me more. It was YOU I listened to when things got bad.  It was YOU I celebrated when things got better.  It was YOU who let me lean on your shoulder. It was my shoulder that let YOU lean back.  

And, somehow, I made it to the finish line of 2011.  I may not be running over it.  It's certainly is more of a hobble.  But, over the finish line I still go.  

However, there is no way I would get anywhere close to the finish line if it weren't for the amazing people in my life who I met this year.  People a year ago I didn't know existed.  People who I cannot even imagine not in my life. They are the air I breathe.  

My year started off with a bang.  My running was on fire.  I felt amazing.  My life was kind of fun and exciting.  I was meeting some really amazing new people who enriched my every day.  It was all good.  Great in fact.  Then, I couldn't run.  And, the awesomeness of 2011 faded away quickly.  I no longer felt good.  I no longer felt like me.  The new me anyway.  I was drifting back into the awfulness of 2010.  And, the years before.  But, each time I started to fall back, a friend would pick me up.  Lift me up.  

YOU became my closest friend.  YOU became more than a friend. YOU were there when I needed someone.  I was there when you needed someone.  YOU made me worry.  YOU made me care. YOU gave me someone to cheer for.  YOU cheered for me. YOU made me laugh.  YOU made me giggle.  YOU cared about me.  I cared deeply about YOU.  YOU made me believe.  In myself. 

YOU made my year.  YOU.  

Yes.  YOU.


Who will YOU be to me for 2012?  I cannot wait to find out. 

* I love the fact that in many of these YOU's it can refer to SO many people.  Each one thinking it's them.  And, they are all correct.  Yes, YOU are. :D

Living EZ

(Photo courtesy of Michael Maidwell )

Yesterday I asked you to tell me what you saw in this picture.  

What did you see?

Looks like a bunch of cyclist enjoying a ride.  Kind of makes you want to be along for the ride - huh? 

Often we on Daily Mile talk about what a wonderful community we have.  A community of runners, cyclists, swimmers, walkers.... athletes.   Ultra runners to Couch to 5k runners. All encouraging each other.  Lifting each other.  On good days.  On bad days. Inspirational.  Strong.  Hilarious.  There. For each other.  Each and every day. 

I watch and read posts and am amazed by the expressions of love and support.  For people for the most part you have never met.  Why?  Why are these people so invested in each other? 

There must be something in the endorphin's.  In our desire to be better people.  To be healthier people.  To be happier people. To be sane people.  It makes us more caring.  More loving.  More human.  Just plain more. 

So, what is the picture above about? 

(Sheila Mulder)

 It's a funeral.  Yes, a funeral. I bet you didn't guess that one.  The cool doode with the beard and white glasses riding the cruiser is Michael Maidwell, lead singer of the band Orange Grove. Runner.  This is the funeral for his father, Malcolm Maidwell. His father was instrumental in starting and organizing running, biking, triathlons, and kayaking etc. to the island of St. Maarten back in the day when these sports did not exist there. In May, Malcholm Maidwell died after a long battle with cancer.  For the funeral Michael and a relay of cyclists, runners and kayakers traveled around the island to Michael's father's final resting place out in the beautiful Caribbean waters. What a great tribute. All those athletes who were encouraged, inspired, & supported to get their kick-ass on because one man thought it was important enough to have these sports accessible to them. 

Think about if you didn't have access to your run, your ride, your swim. Malcolm made sure the people of St. Maarten did. 

When my father died 9 1/2 years ago my college girlfriends jumped on planes from all over the country and were by my side for the funeral.  I have to say it was one of the days in my life I felt the most love.  How strange is that?  The day I buried my father.  Yet, the amount of love surrounding me was immeasurable.  They were there for me at the funeral, at the luncheon, and then took my butt to an Irish pub afterwards and fed me pint after pint and made me laugh. Smile.  Breath.   My friends and I weren't then, but, we are now...runners.  

Just like Malcolm, my father's final resting place was the the Caribbean waters of St. Maarten.  It was much quieter affair for us. I took my dad in my purse with me on the plane. I know, don't even.  A little under his favorite hammock, a little on the beach, a little in the ocean.  At sunset.  We didn't have the large group that Malcolm had.  But, we had love nonetheless. 

I smile when I think about Malcolm's funeral. How amazing it must have felt for his family to have all those athletes embracing their broken hearts. How great is that?  Being in a moment of great sadness and being surrounded by a community of love.  

So much love that instead of tears you find yourself riding high with a huge smile on your face. 

We run, bike, and swim.  We have good days. We have bad days.  We struggle with our workouts, our injuries, our home life, our jobs, and just plain old life. But, no matter what kind of day we have, we know that at the end of the day this little community of love that surrounds us will make sure we are Living EZ.  

That no matter what, we are feeling irie, mon. 

Orange Grove - Living EZ

Suck it Cancer.

I Run Alone

I don't need your help.  I'm not weak.  I can pick up that package.  Who cares that I'm wearing heals.  Excuse me, but I can lift it.  Let me be. I don't need you to help me with my luggage.  I'm fine, thank you very much.  See that chainsaw I have in my hand?  I'm chopping down a tree. Leave me alone.  Paint that entire beach wall?  Yeah, so what? Three coats, both sides, in the hot sun.  By myself.  You couldn't hang.  Don't even try. 

You want to help?  If you are a doode, no matter a stranger or a friend, you can hold the door for me. That would be nice.  I would like that.  However, other than that. I don't need your help.  

Because, I run alone

When I need to run. I run.  I don't meet up with groups of runners.  I don't make running dates.  I don't have running meet ups.  I just figure out when in my life I have time and have run out of excuses why I can't.  Then I run.

I like to run alone because it my time to clear my mind.  If you recall, running for me was a way to escape the stress and overwhelming drama as family members were dying.  This was a time for people to not depend on me.  To not need me.  For me to be me. 

I don't typically like to run with others.  Not that I hate it.  But, I like to go at my pace.  I worry that I'm too slow for some and too fast for others.  I need to go at my speed.  Whatever that is on any given day. It's my time to talk to myself.  To have discussions with me. 

However, I'm learning to accept people into my run.  

In February of this year Lisa and I signed up for the Chicago Marathon together. I had been running pretty consistently.  Nothing major as far as mileage.  Just doing my usual 5.5 mile trail loop.  Lisa had not run in many months.  She needed to start to get her run on again. So she met up with me for her first run.  I was worried about this run. Would I be too slow.  Would I be too fast.  Would we not be compatible running together?   It turns out it was great.  We both have long legs so our strides were pretty spot on.  After many months of no running she was right there with me. (Bitch)  I absolutely despise talking on a run.  But, we never shut up.  We talked about work.  Furniture.  Men.  The process in which we shave our legs. Running.  Running clothes. Cute shoes. Not wanting to shit our pants while running. We laughed a lot.  It was fun. 

We continued to meet for runs here and there as often as we could.  However, eventually, Lisa was back in her running shape. She's a runner.  She's speedy. I'm not.  Sadly, eventually, I had to start insisting that we could no longer run together.  She needed to do this on her terms.  Not mine. After loving being a lone runner, I was starting to think I was liking this partner running.  But, sadly it was over. 

I signed up for 2011 Chicago Rock n Roll Half Marathon . I was doing this alone.  At the time I knew nobody else running it.  I ran it twice before.  I would run it again. It didn't really matter to me if anybody else was running it.  I always race alone.  If people ask me to sign up for races with them my answer usually is, "Sure, but I won't run with you.  I run alone".  As time went by this lone race for me slowly became a race of many friends.  I was excited for them all to come.  I had Daily Mile friends ( Logan & Sara ) whom I had never met coming in.  I had an old college friend, Erin, coming in.  I had a long time friend, Robert-Jan,  from St. Maarten coming in. I had Lisa.  No longer was this going to be a lone race. 

Nobody knew each other.  As someone told me later I was the spoke in the wheel that brought us all together.  We all met.  We all got along really well.  It was awesome.  On race morning we all headed to the start area. 

Erin, me, Logan, Robert-Jan

In the past 40,000 runners takes awhile to get across the start line.  So, with that in mind we decided to take our time to get in our corrals. Logan was starting behind the Kenyans, so he bolted immediately, like as in I have no idea where he went, after this picture. Erin, RJ, & I hit gear check, the bathrooms, listened to the national anthem, then slowly walked towards our corrals.  Only to find them, well, gone. Huh? The start was WAY faster than anticipated.  We saw corrals #20 - #30 lined up around the corner, about ready to go.  But, for the three of us, our corrals were long gone.  None of us were the same corral.  But, we looked at each other, and said, "I guess we are starting", gave each other hugs, wished each other luck,  pressed our Garmins, and started to run.  

I had no intention of running with them for the entire race. I figured we would jog a bit to start and then spread out.  After all, I run alone.  Erin was with us for a bit.  But, then she got lost in the crowd.  We heard a few Wheee! Wheee! 's  and she was gone.  RJ and I continued to run together. We were going at a good pace together.  But, I was just waiting for us to split up at some point. 

 But, we continued on our pace together. To the 6 mile mark.  We both saw the clock time as we crossed and looked at each other.  I said, "That was fast" He said, "I know, that's my fastest ever".  I replied, "We need to slow down."  He answered, "No, lets keep going".  I hated him.

Robert-Jan and me hand in hand over the finish

I'm tall. But, RJ's VERY tall. I was having  hard time keeping up.  My piriformis injury was hurting.  I made sure to get water at every station.  RJ did not.  So, each time I would have to run and catch up to him after drinking.  Thankfully, he was easy to spot.  Thankfully, he slowed down a bit to wait for me.  When I was hurting, he reminded me that I could do it.  When he started cramping at mile 11 or so, I reminded him he could do it.  When he pulled up just before the finish line I told him to suck it up and get his ass to the finish.  I was in pain too.  We could do this. He hopped up.  We ran.  To the finish.  Just as we got to the finish he grabbed my hand.  We crossed together. 

We ran start to finish together.  For the first time I did not race alone. And, it was ok.  It was better than ok.  It was great.  I think there were a few times I would have quit on myself.  Gone slower.  Maybe not pushed as hard.  But, I had RJ to keep up with.  I had RJ to bring to the finish at the end when he was hurting. 

This weekend I had something hit me in the gut. Weird.  Random.  Out of the blue.  But, it socked me to the core.  So much so it made me vomit.  I went out for a long ride (I'm still injured and can't run) to sort it out.  It wasn't working.  Logan was texting me to make sure I was ok. I wasn't.  I was still shaking.  I was still vomiting.  I would ride a few miles. Read something he wrote.  Write back. Think about what he said.  Ride some more.  Read some more.  Write some more.  Ride some more. Until it got better.  Until I could just ride.  At around mile 26 I was lost.  Of course I was. How appropriate.  I was in the woods.  I had no idea where I was or how I was going to get out.  It was starting to get dark. Honestly, I felt like sitting down and quitting. But, I knew another text would come in asking where on my ride I was.  I couldn't say I was under a tree.  So, I took a deep breath and figured out how to get the hell out of there. 

41 miles later I was okay. However, I wouldn't have been if I was riding alone.  But, I wasn't riding alone.

I'm learning how to not run alone.  It's hard for me.  I like the alone part.  I like the solitude.  However, I also need people by my side too.  I can't keep insisting that I don't.  

Wait 'til next year......

I have SO much to say about the #CM11 Chicago Marathon.  I don't know where to even begin.  I suggest you grab a cold one.  Or some coffee.  A blanket.  Some energy gel.  Perhaps a banana. You might even want compression socks. This is clearly the longest race report for someone who didn't even run the damn race. 

This was to be my race.  MY marathon.  The one I do.  The one that makes me a marathoner. We all know my tired story by now.  I tried.  My brain quit.  I got injured.   I did not run.

This was my girls weekend.  College friends getting together at least once a year.  Used to be football games.  Then weddings.  Then just random places to go have fun.  In the last year or two these have turned into race weekends.  Funny how that happened since almost all of us never really ran.  Some of us met up for Chicago Shamrock Shuffle this spring.  We enjoyed a nice (but hot) race and had a fun time afterwards.  At this point some of us had already signed up to run the Chicago Marathon. Three of us and another's husband were planning on running.  As it turned out, three of the four of us had to drop out.  Injuries, conflicts, and just general lack of feeling ready were some of our reasons. So, sadly, this left one lone runner, Celeste, to our marathon.  Thankfully, this was her 10th marathon, so old hat for her.

Friday night we drank wine, caught up, drank some more wine, made race signs, and drank some more wine. 'Twas fun.  However, too much as one person was unable to get out of bed the next morning  So, we found it necessary to make yet another sign. 

On Saturday we headed to the Expo.  I was really worried that being here would make me cry.  I figured as soon as I got my bib I would lose it.  Oddly enough, I did not.  Instead I was kind of excited.  There were THOUSANDS of runners here.  You could feel the excitement.  It made me feel good.  If I were running I would feel scared.  This I know for sure.  I just missed seeing Ray here.  He tweeted that he was leaving Expo just as we were getting on the shuttle to leave as well.  I missed him. One of many missed meetings with him all weekend. 

Runners entering corral

Up early Sunday.  Walked with Celeste over to the race start to make sure she got to where she needed to ok.  It was kind of a mess as runners were very unclear where they could get in to their corral.  Lots of runners hustling to the start after attempting to enter in areas nowhere near where they needed to be.  I had planned on going all the way to the start area.  No, I was not running.  However, I did still have my bib.  So, I could get in the runner area.  However, it was so crazy there I decided to say goodbye to her before she entered the "if you aint running get out" area.  We would see her again in 26.2.  

runners head to the start by the Modern Wing of the Art Institute

45,000 runners start

Met up with the rest of the girls on the spectator side of the start.  Watching this start was beautiful.  A sea of runners, flowing like calm ocean waves......gently bobbing up and down as it  streamed by us.  The race started.  It. was. on. For as far as you could see in either direction all you could see were runners. Beautiful, strong, amazing...... runners.  It was spectacular. 

We had plans.  Plans to be uber spectators.  A little marathon got in the way.  We were able to jump right into a cab and get to the second stop for our day.  We had planned on just past mile 8.  However, my friend Lee, who was saving us a spot there, was stuck in a crowd.  It was crowded.  The runners were already running by in a steady stream.  We didn't want to fight our way to the spot.  We found a wide open spot about 1/2 mile away on Addison. I was worried all the people I gave my planned location to would not find me. I panicked a little. But, I hunkered down.  Pulled out my Do Epic Shit sign. This is when the fun really began.  The second that sign hit the air it started.  The smiles.  The laughs. The hooting.  The hollering. The "right-on" finger pointing to me.  The high fives.  The shouts of "Do Epic Shit!!!! WHOOOOOO!" All of this..... from the runners.   It. was. amazing.   Several yelled Una Runnnnnnner! or "Do you know Logan?"  It was great! 

I cannot tell you how awesome it is to have racers look at YOU and smile.  Most runners usually don't smile when racing.  They are focused.  Or tired.  Or struggling. But, when they passed me, the lips slowly turned upwards.  They got a glint in their eyes.  It was amazing.  To have that affect.  Some were extremely boisterous when passing me.  Yelling back at me.  Others, quietly smiled a modest smile.  I could only sense what their brain was really thinking.  Made me giggle.  

I was tracking quite a few runners.  Sadly, Ryan was just TOO fast and I never was able to get to my location before he passed.   Runner tracking always informed me he was already past my next location before I even left the current one.  I cheered him on from afar.  Thankfully, runner tracking let me know when people were past 10k.  I knew to judge their arrival time at my location.  It was great.  In the meantime I made many new friends with strangers passing me by.  I'm a little loud when I cheer.  I tend to make noise.  I scream.  I whistle.  I Whooooooo!!!! Loudly.  The runners heard me.  For sure. :D  I started to lose my voice.  And, I was only one hour into the race. 

So, one by one people I knew came by.  Thankfully, they all saw ME and came by ME and shouted!  Tom, Brian (Brian DM), Celeste, Casey,  Becky .  ALL of them stopping and shouting out to me!  I shouted back... even louder GOOOOOOO!   I was waiting around for Ray (Ray DM ) who obviously started further back in the corrals.  I waited as long as I could.  My friends waiting to get to the next spot to meet Celeste.  I finally had to leave my spot.  I'm positive Ray went by right after I left.  


When Lisa S.  came by she yelled hi and ran away.  Went a couple of feet. Came back.  Hugged me and said, "I need this.  This was SO what I needed.  Thanks. "  And, she was off.  I was tickled beyond belief that I saw her.  Lisa and I signed up together.  We sat on our computers until 1:30 am on that February night trying to get in.  We started training together.  We went on some hilariously funny runs together.  We were on different paths.  But, the same journey.  We both started to fail mentally at the same time.  Before we could pick each other up, I got injured.  I was out. Lisa was on her own.  Well, not on her own really.  I was with her.  Just not running next to her anymore.  She felt awful that I was not running.  We cried a lot over it.  She empathized with my sadness.  It helped.  But, I was not going to let her quit.  I was there for her on her long runs when she wanted to give up.  And, here she was.... running past me.  Running the Chicago Marathon.  I was SO happy. 

Next our plan was to head to Mile 15 to give Celeste the Gu we promised.  We had to PROMISE we would be there.  We did.  We weren't.  Our cab driver was clueless that the marathon was taking place.  Uhhhh, wtf!  We were trying to tell him the best ways to avoid closed roads and time after time he kept turning right into the race.  It was SO frustrating.  I was freaking out in the back seat.  I don't like to let friends down.  We were letting  Celeste down.  We decided mile 15 was out.  We started to try for 16.  Then that became out of the question.  17?  Nope, not that either.  We took a chance on 18.  We got there.  Flew out of the cab.  Ran to the side of the race in a nice spot.  Started cheering immediately.  We were back in business.  I started seeing some familiar faces from the first stop.  They started seeing me again.  I got lots of "it's YOU again!"  "I'm still doing epic shit"  "I'm not feeling very epic anymore". Several pointed out to their running partners, "There she is again"  Within a very short 4-5 minutes I spotted her.  Coming around the corner.  Celeste.  Oh. My. God.  We made it.  Late.  But, we made it.  I hollered out to the other girls.  Gu out.  We were ready.  Whooooooo Celeste!!!!!!! Apologies all around.  She didn't seem to care.  She got her Gu.  She got our faces.  She was off again. Kicking ass.   The girls and I looked at each other.  Eyes wide.  Phew, that was VERY close.  Our next plan was catching her at the finish.

One of my favorite parts of the race was at mile 18.  This little boy, about 3 just stood on the side of the road, more inside the race than by the spectators.  He just stood there.  With his arm outstretched.  Awaiting some high-fives.  I loved watching the runners turn the corner, see this little doode, smile, high five and run on.  It was so cute! 

Runners looked a lot different at mile 18 than at 7.5 (duh).  They were obviously hot.  They all were parched.  People were definitely starting to struggle. People were starting to cramp.  It was a bit hard to watch.  I was hot.  I was only standing there screaming, holding a sign.  I was behind them all the way.  I wanted them all to do well.  By the way, holding the sign did turn out to be more difficult than I imagined.  My arms started to hurt.  My shoulders were really sore.  My hands actually fell asleep and I was finding it very hard to hold the sign.  But, one look at these runners.... really, Andrea?  Suck it up cupcake. Hold the friggin' sign.  Scream your ass off.  In fact I was screaming so loud that one doode came around the corner ran right up to me and said, "Just so you know, I could hear you all around the corner.  Thanks!".  <smile>

Lisa N.  had a few people she was following.  So, we stuck around to see if we could catch them.  She saw some at 7.5.  But, based on tracking we might be able to catch another here.  We cheered.  More familiar faces.  More smiles.  This time I got some thank you's.  More high fives. Lots more high fives.  A couple of ass pats (thank you!) from doodes saying, "I saw you the first time, this is great", "I needed this", etc.  I even got some hugs.  Most half hugs.  But, I got a huge full on one.  Tom came by again. I cheered.  He went on a few feet.  Came back.  Gave me a huge ass schweddy hug.  It was awesome. Thanks pumpkin!  Brian was next.  He was looking a bit warm as well.  But, soldiering on.  Imagine my surprise when a smiling Ashleigh came flying by.  She had a, uh-hum, timing chip problem so her tracks never came through for me to find her.  I was SOOO happy to see her.  She looked great!.   I didn't see any other Daily Milers here.  But, Lisa did see one of her runners.  So, off we went to try to get Celeste for her finish.

We started walking a straight line toward the lake front and the finish line.  We were looking for a cab, but finally realized this was not going to happen.  So, we walked the few miles.  Because of this, sadly,  we did not see Celeste cross. I think we were standing on a bridge over the expressway when the text came in.  Whoo-Hoo Celeste finished.  And, finished strong I might add.  Not a PR.  But, placed her  5711/35660 overall.    1158/15419 for women  166/2161  in her age group.  Not too shabby.  SO proud of her.  Later that day she told us she was retiring from marathons.  She was done with them.  Huh. 

When we neared the finish I saw the final push towards the end.  Chicago races have a cruel way of adding in this bridge to many of their races finishes.  It is a killer.  I cannot even imagine it after 25. 5 miles. Julie and Lisa headed to meet up with Celeste. I stayed back to try to catch Lisa S. finish.  In addition, I love watching the finish.  Love watching people make that final push to the end.  Seeing their faces.  Knowing that they DID this.  It gets me every time.  I saw dads pick up their kids and run with them in their arms.  I saw teens jump the fence and sprint in with their moms.  I saw race officials practically drag a few people over the line.  But, finish they did.  I saw many couples grab hands, run together, finish a dream.  Many were taking pictures.  Of US. The crowd.  It was great. 

Lisa in blue, black shorts

I kept looking down the street.  Hoping to see Lisa.  She wasn't there yet.  Then, there came Lisa.  I saw her all the way down the street.  She was running right along the fence where I stood.  I screamed her name.  She looked.  She blew me a kiss. I started to cry.  I screamed some more.  I watched her cross the line.  I couldn't have been prouder of her.  She did it.  Hot damn.  She did it.  PR'd her last Chicago Marathon of a few years ago by one hour.  Yes, she had a faster goal in mind.  But, in these conditions, a PR is a fantastic achievement in my eyes.  Hell, finishing is an achievement!


I stuck around to watch other DM'ers make it in.  I saw Tom.  I saw Brian. Becky came flying right by me, smile on her face.  The girls were waiting for me.  I had to leave.  But, I was still waiting for Ray.  I had missed him ALL weekend.  I couldn't leave.  I started to leave about five times.  Each time convinced he was right around the corner, I stayed.  Finally after getting yet another text from the girls I had to leave.  I walked away. Reluctantly. I walked out of the bleacher area.  Walked about 2 minutes.  Ping!  In came a text.  Ray King had finished.  And, I missed it.  Oh, Ray, I tried SO very hard.  I'm sorry.  I know Chinatown was not kind to you.  I'm SO proud you soldiered on.  You, my friend, are a marathoner.  Be proud. 


I am SO thankful I saw all the people I did.  I am so very proud of you all.  Of what you accomplished.  I know some of you are not happy with your time.  But, under those heat conditions you should be thrilled.  It was NOT easy. 


I had SO much fun holding that sign. Claire,  (Claire DM) also had her Do Epic Shit tee on.  She reported feeling the same mad love making people smile.  So many people came up to me and took my picture.  One racer took it and posted it to Facebook while standing in front of me!  ha! Lisa and Julie teased me that I should have written my phone number on the sign because they have never seen that many hot guys.... talking to me no less!  Duly noted for next time! Runnrgrrl saw me twice and screamed DO EPIC SHIT!!!!!!!  both times she passed me. Many runners told me at 18 that I had the best sign on the course.  Wheeeeee!!!!  I can't even describe the joy I felt making the runners feel good.  It was such a good feeling. I wish you all could feel what I felt.  It was a complete honor to cheer them on.   So many runners have told me since that I was the highlight of their race.  Man, how cool is that?  But, seriously, runners,  YOU, were the ones who made my day.  Thank you. 


I thought I would be sad this weekend.  I was not.  I was SO happy.  However, when I awoke on Monday I felt a bit different.  I was sore.  My shoulders were sore.  My shin hurt.  A lot.  We did a lot of walking over the weekend.  It hurt then.  It hurt more on Monday.  It made me worry.  That I may never run again.  Celeste was in better shape than me for crying out loud!  But, also, the fact that I didn't run finally hit me.  I got a message from Lisa S early in the morning.  She told me that I was the first face she saw in the race and the last face she saw before finishing.  It made me cry. It made me happy. But, it made me cry.  For the first time it hit me that I didn't experience the race.  As a runner.  I didn't see this coming, but it came.  A few hours later our friend living in France called to find out about the race.  She talked to me about me not running.  She was giving me a little pep talk about how proud she was of me.  How I had transformed myself into a new person. How I would run that marathon one day.   I cried again.  Not sure why.  I think partially because I knew she was right.  And, partially because I knew this journey of mine, halted for a minor mental meltdown and a major injury shutdown, was not yet over.  


The girls started to get ready to leave each other.  As she turned to get into the car to leave, the now marathon retired Celeste turned to me and said, "If you run Chicago next year I'll run again."  :D


So, there it is.  2012 Chicago Marathon.  I will be waiting for you.  Will you be waiting for me?