One of These Days

Hello 2013.

Let's be friends.  Mmmm'kay?

I will have low expectations for you.  This way you will not fail me.

I won't have huge hopes of what you have waiting for me.  I will just go along with each day.  And, perhaps. one of these days......

I will run.  It will not be fast.  It will not be far.  But, I will run.

I will swim.  I will swim more than I have since I was a teen.  I WILL swim fast.  I WILL swim far.

I will do that SheRox Triathlon relay once again.  This time we will be ready.  We will kick ass.  Perhaps, this time we will win.

I will swim The Big Shoulders 5K.  My first real open water swim.  Should be interesting. 

I will perhaps work toward an 11 minute headstand.  Or not.  Conquering that 10 minute goal on New Year's Eve was pretty awesome.  It also was very, very hard.  However, if I'm a bit more consistent at doing it, than perhaps I may have the strength to go further.  However, if I don't, that's ok.  I hit my goal, a pretty lofty one in my opinion. 

I will continue to support my friends in their training.  In their lives.

I will be there for those friends fighting with health issues that try to knock them down, as they continue to keep getting up.  I will give them a hand up if necessary.  But, no matter what, they WILL get up. I will have it no other way. No. Other. Way. 

I will also keep helping my self up, should I get knocked down (we know I will).  I perhaps may, this year, allow others to help me up from time to time.

I will visit some of my running friends.  I have some thoughts in mind.  It was be fun.  

One thing I have decided I will not do... is sign up for the Chicago Marathon.  It pains me so.  And, makes me incredibly sad.  But, my body just can't and won't allow me.  Being injured once again after this latest 10 mile run proves to me once again that I cannot push a body that keeps pushing back.  Unless I drop another 60 pounds I don't think I can keep putting such pressure on myself to do something that my body refuses to do.  As much as I want it mentally, it just won't be.

Does this mean I won't ever run  a marathon?  I don't know.  Maybe one of these days. I want Chicago.  This is the one I want.  But, I just cannot commit within the small time frame before it will sell out.  Perhaps I'll run well and pain free and somehow train for a marathon by accident?  Huh, wouldn't that be funny.  Well, well, then perhaps I'll do a smaller one instead.  One that will allow me to sign up closer to the race date. (and, I know which one my local friends will be nudging me towards)

I will run the F^ing Freezing Half in three weeks (foot willing). I will run the half marathon race of the inaugural marathon  in my hometown in  November. I have to.  It will be on all the running paths/trails I run on during training.  I hope some of my running friends will join me.  That would be nice to do the full, but again, it will sell out before I can commit.

I will go to two weddings of running friends.  I'm excited to be in attendance for both of these weddings for two pretty amazing people.

I will try to stay healthy.  I will hopefully be happy.

For you, I wish you all a year filled with peace, love, happiness, good health.... and no injuries. I thank you for making me smile.  For lifting me up.  For making me giggle.  For being my friend.  I'm lucky to have you in my life.  

Yeah, even you.

Hugs and kisses,
~a

SheRox Triathlon - Learning to Fly

4:30 am wake-up call.  It was unnecessary.  I was up. Ready to go.  Let's do this.

Day before race with Sara

Sara was already up for awhile.  I got myself together and we were out the door just after 5 a.m. and at the race start before 5:30.  First relay at transition.  Got a nice end spot for our stuff.  Started to take it all in.  We were going to do a triathlon.  As a relay.  Together.

Lisa arrived shortly afterwards.  She was teary eyed.  Tears streaming down her face.  I asked her why.  She said because she was just thinking about how amazing all these women were that were doing this triathlon.  I felt it too.  We both cried.  Tears of happiness.  Of being inspired.  Of being proud.  Of all those making the effort.

The Beach

While Sara changed, Lisa marked my body with a few "suck it cancer"s.  And, I headed off to warm up in the water for a bit.  The Beach is an old quarry in town that has been a great "pool" for many years here.  It's a great place for an open water swim.  I needed, however, to be refreshed on how the visibility was here.  I was quickly reminded that it was about zero.  Alrighty then.   When I came out of my quick warm up Lisa was nowhere to be found.  Ummm..... Lisa? Lisa?  Uh, Lisa?  I walked around the deck area for 10 minutes before I gave up.  I was starting to panic.  Transition was closing in ten minutes.  I had to get up there and get anything I needed (which turned out to be nothing).  So, I ran back.  Made Sara call Lisa.  She was sitting 10 feet in front of the area I had left her.  She never saw me get out.  Yeah..... not our only miscommunication of the day for us virgins.  Oh, well, No big whoop.  I only had a slight freak out.  Ha.

So, then goodbyes to Sara and Lisa headed with me for the swim start.  Oh. My. God.  I was going to be racing in less then ten minutes.  Just at the start I finally found my sister and ten year old niece.  This was nice.  The first time my family has come to my races (as an adult).  My friends, however, all bailed on me once again.  I was happy to see my niece.  She's a rockstar swimmer and did the Chicago Kids Triathlon last year and made me so proud. She was a breath of fresh air and made me relax.

I was so grateful we were starting in Wave #3.  First of all, because of the heat.  Secondly, because we didn't have to wait around for almost two hours to start racing.  I got in my corral with 2 minute before start. I looked around at my corral.  Picked out a few that I could easily identify as swimmers.  The girl next to me, one I had identified as a swimmer, asked me, "How far is this swim?"  I said, "You ask this now?  It's a half mile".  She said she used to swim the mile.  Oh no.  This did not bode well for me.  A sprinter.

The Elite wave went off.  The cancer survivor wave went off.  We were next.  I jockeyed for a front position.  I got it.  In the water we walked.  3, 2, 1........ BEEEEEEEEP!  We were off!  It was a roller derby free for all for that front position.  The Miler Girl and me were battling it out.  She won the battle.  Got along the lane line first.  But, half way down that first lap I overtook her.  See ya.  However, as I did so, I also kicked someone behind me.  Someone was behind me. Not for long.  Shortly she was on the other side of me.  Then in front of me.   I let her go.  No way I could continue this fast pace for an entire half mile.  I needed to go steady and strong.  But, not all out so soon.

The lanes were HUGE.  So, I ended up doing a lot of zig zagging when I lost sight of the lane lines.  I could only see to the end of my hand in front of me, if that far.  So, if I wasn't right along a lane line I tended to get off course.  I had to do a lot of breast strokes to keep an eye out for slow swimmers ahead or turns in the course.  When I hit the Survivor's wave I had a very hard time getting through.  They were packed pretty tight across the lane.  These women friggin rock and the last thing I needed to do was claw my way through them.  So, I dodged and weaved the best I could until I was free and had plenty of clear water ahead.  I could see two other relay colored caps ahead of me.  But, they were closer than they had been.  I had caught up.  One last lap.  I gave it all I had.  I was beat.  But, I put my head in and pulled.

I thought about the survivors I just passed.  I thought about them not giving up.  I thought about a that weird doode friend of mine that runs silly miles in a pink tutu to raise money to find a cure for cancer.  I didn't care how tired I was.  I could do this.  I could finish strong.

Soon I could see the bottom.  I was close.  I stood up.  Ran out of the water.  Yes!  I was done.  Oh, wait, never mind.  I had to then run to our transition area for our wave.  Up a hill.  Through a parking lot.  The entire transition area.  I could barely breath.  I was exhausted.  I was running in a friggin bathing suit for crying out loud!  Oh, dear Lord.

I got to our transition area.  I was confused.  I couldn't  find Sara.  I was in our lane.  But, she wasn't.  There were other relay teams standing where Sara should be.  Lots of them.  Blocking the area.  But, where was Sara?  I ran up and down the area looking for her.  Finally I ran back to our transition.  Yelled her name.  She stood up.  She was adjusting her bike.  The other ladies were blocking her.  I couldn't see her.  She wasn't expecting me so soon.  Ha.  We got our shit together, she got on our chip, and off she went.

I met up with Lisa.  Wished her luck. Then headed out to try to catch Sara as she rode my for the second loop.  We weren't sure how fast she'd be.  So, my sister, niece and I hauled ass 3/4 mile away to catch a bit of the biking.  We waiting a bit (thankfully, because I was STILL out of breath) and there came Sara!  Wheeeeee!!!!!  She looked fantastic!  Yeah!  Then, all the way back to transition for us.  I jumped back in and talked to Lisa a bit and recapped my swim and a bit of Sara's leg.  Lisa's husband and kids arrived and Lisa was able to get some pre-race hugs from them.

Sara came flying in carrying her bike.  Looking exhausted.  But, strong.  I could tell she gave it her all.  Lisa grabbed the chip and off she went!  Wheeeee!!!!  After Sara caught her breath we joined our cheering crew at the finish to wait for Lisa.  It was so exciting.  We couldn't wait for her to arrive.  Then, around the corner, through the trees, Lisa. Sara and I got on either side of the finish chute. As Lisa came in, we grabbed her hands.  And crossed that finish line.  Together.  Team Tridiots.

It was an amazing moment.  Lisa also gave it all she had.  Everything.  I was SO proud of her.  It was really hot out already.  She did great.  And, then we hugged.  A team hug.  For completing our first relay triathlon. As a team. This was my favorite moment.

We did it.  We did our first triathlon as a relay.  We made some mistakes.  We learned. We are hungry for more.  Out of 58 relays teams we finished 7th.   1:29.55. I'm thrilled with our results.  I think we did great.  And, I think we can easily improve on this next year. Next year we will fly. 

We did it.  For us.  For my dad, who died from cancer ten years ago.  For Lisa's mother, who died from cancer two years ago.  For Sara, who is kicking cancers ass with one more week to go with her chemo.  We did it for us.  We did it for them.

We did it.  Team Tridiots.

Suck it cancer.

GOAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday.  One of those ones you hope you never have again.  Ever. I'm trying to think how I can make the next day better. Or the next day.  Or maybe a day in two weeks.  So... I'm thinking forward.  Hoping.  Forward.

Last year as the New Year turned I had resolutions.  A bit bizarre perhaps.  But, something to work on.   Goals to obtain.  Get to getting on.  For me.  I was in full force at the start of the year.  But, unfortunately as life, and my injury, got in the way, so did my desire to work on me.  

I just wandered into 2012.  No, big excitement.  No energy for something to look forward to.  Nothing. It just came.  I was doing laundry. It came while I was doing laundry.     

In 2011 I ran 513 miles, rode 542 miles, and swam 21 miles.  Before my body sadly gave out on me.  Compared to some of you this is nothing.  But, for me it's the most I've done, well as an old fart anyway.   I hope I can get better and improve upon that, and me, in 2012.   And, please, oh please.... stay injury free.

I need to have something to get me moving.  Each day.  Mind, body, spirit.  Life.  I need goals.  At this point my only goal is to get to tomorrow.  I need more than that. I need to be more than that.  I need to get out of this fucking boot. I need someone to scream at me to move.  With my life. 

I could use this once in awhile. 

I really want to maybe see if I can get through a triathlon this year.  Not sure if that's in me.  But, I have the urge to see if I can.  After seeing the SheRox Naperville one last summer (and stalking Ashleigh ) I kind of got the urge.  But, perhaps do it as a relay as Sara (bike) , Lisa. (run), and I (swim) had discussed.  We might be a bit whacky in our thoughts.  But..... we think we could possibly place... and actually win it.  I know, we are crazy for thinking it.  But, wouldn't that be fun?  I could use a bit of being awesome.   Then perhaps a triathlon on my own?  Perhaps.

As far as running.  I have some spring races in mind.  Not sure what really.  I have had some invites to do some I haven't done before and would like to run those. I'm not sure if the invitations actually still stand.  But, I'm always up for meeting up for people and trying a race.  Chicago Shamrock Shuffle 8k   is always fun and I'll be back again. Great large race.  Fun post party. From what I remember anyway.  I've always wanted to do the Soldier Field 10 Mile .  However, I was always just weeks back from a three week drinking vacation and never in any shape to do this.  This year I would like to be.  Chicago Rock n Roll Half Marathon has been moved (again) to July 22nd.  Not sure how I feel about a half in July in Chicago.  But... I've done the last three and it seems right to continue.   I'll probably bail on Chicago Hot Chocolate  this year.  I've got the kewl jacket.  Two actually now. The race seems just too crowded with walkers no matter what they do to keep this race flowing.  Maybe I'll do a winter one instead.  After all.... me running in snow?  Come on.  It just seems right. 

Then the biggie,Chicago Marathon. It's what I want.  More than anything.  Just once.  Pretty please.  I still don't know if a marathon is within my abilities.  But, I have to at least try. No, not try.  DO.

I also want to do some running with my ten year old niece.  She did her first triathlon last year Chicago Kid Triathlon with absolutely no running training.  I'd like to help her get her feet moving a bit.  If so, I think she has the ability to be a fantastic triathlete.  She's already a very strong swimmer (proud auntie). She just needs to work on the run and bike a bit.  I look forward to watching her do this really fun race once again.  I had such a blast cheering her on.  Who knew while I was barefoot hobbling all over that course in terrible pain that I was already one week into a stress fracture?  Huh. 

I have also been invited to crew for an ultra.  Or at least sit back and drink beers while they run. Or play in a lake.  Or maybe do my own long marathon training run that day.  Or sun myself in my bikini that I'll once again be wearing because I'll be running sick miles once again (for me anyway) and lose all this damn boot weight that's dragging me down mentally and physically. Or maybe actually crew.  Meh, doesn't matter.  I'll be there no matter what.  Doing whatever is needed of me.  But, having fun.  This I know for sure. 

I'll continue to nurture the loving friendships I have garnered with my running friends.  I feel a bit lost right now with some of them.  Some, thankfully, are stronger than ever.  Some have had their ebbs and flows.  I hope to have back any that I have lost and deepen those just in the budding stages. And, no matter what, appreciate every single person that helps little ole me along my little running (biking? swimming?) journey.

Do cartwheels.  Lots of cartwheels. 

Still in the boot.  Still can't run.  However, I did swim 1.5+ miles last night. It was surely a night I would have gone for a run.  A therapy run.  But, I couldn't.  So, I finally found a way to swim.  I needed it.  Badly.   It wasn't particularly pretty.  But, it's a start towards my goals.  I hope.

So, I work on me.  I keep forgetting about me. I keep promising it'll be about me.  But, it just never seems to be.  I always seem to get lost.  Even though I'm always there.  People seem to still forget about me.   So, 2012.  I will fly.  On the road.  In the water.  In me. For me. 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free